Craig Baranovic

Computer geek and department chair, associate degrees program at Remington College East

Whether at home or the office, there’s only one thing worse than having computer problems: Calling the geeky tech guy to fix your computer problems. “As much as they hate us, they need us — we love that kind of power,” says Craig Baranovic, geeky tech guy and department chair, associate degrees program at Remington College East. “And by the way, we aren’t as geeky as you think. Having said that, I do wear sneakers with a suit and tie.”

Why do people think you’re all geeks?
They’re afraid of us. As soon as we start with the techno-babble, they feel like they’re out of the loop.

So you’re intimidating?
God, I hope so.

What’s the most common thing to go wrong with a computer?
Memory goes on the blink.

My memory’s going on the blink.
Yes, it’s a human problem, too.

What’s the hardest thing to fix?
The person who thinks I can fix any problem on their computer in three seconds. They need to understand it takes at least five seconds.

Something we don’t know about computer guys.
We love our snacks. We usually work long, strange hours and the vending machine is our best friend.

Why do tech guys always tell us to reboot?
Because 90 percent of the time, it solves the problem. Rebooting is like giving your computer Robitussin.

I understand you’re a bowling coach, too?
That’s right.

It’s a good thing you’re married and don’t need an online dating profile.
I would be waiting a long, long time.

How many pocket protectors do you own?
None. But I do have three lanyards.

The next big thing in computers.
Nanotechnology. Putting little computers in your bloodstream to monitor your health.

Anyone ever ask you to remove pornography from a computer?
Not specifically. I’ll get a question like, “So how can I make sure nobody will know what’s on my computer?” Hmm, I wonder what they mean?

The best advice you can give someone for her computer.
Make sure you have good virus protection and spyware software.

Give me some good tech talk.
We’ll have to call up the IP address and the octets for interconnecting the multichannel routers in an Ethernet star network.

What does that mean?
Basically, it’s one computer guy saying to another computer guy, “Keep an eye on things. I’ve gotta go to the bathroom.”

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