Cleveland's Best Bars: Around the Corner

The first thing you need to know about racing hermit crabs at Around the Corner is that your crab doesn’t matter. Speaking from experience, there’s no way to tell a winner. 

I know because I've never won. 

No, despite being tasked with celebrating the joys of hermit crab racing, I've experienced nothing but misery at the table. 

That futility doesn’t come from a lack of trying, however. For two years, I’ve spent more Saturdays than I’d like to admit leaned over a table, screaming vitriol at some poor crustacean that is only moving because it is hot and disorientated.

The rules are simple. Belly up to the table and throw down a dollar. No dollar, no crab. After everyone selects their racers (NO TOUCHING THE CRABS), the animals are trapped by an upside-down bowl and placed under a lamp (which royally pisses them off) before being let loose. Whoever's crab reaches the table’s exterior first wins the round’s buy-ins.

While I’ve come close more times than I can count by picking the crab with the coolest drawing on its shell, I’ve never gotten the glory of that $13 pot. Maybe that’ll change this weekend. 18616 Detroit Ave., Lakewood, 216-521-4413, atccafe.com 

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