After graduating from high school in Youngstown in 2005, Josh Bartell found himself moving all over the country, first as a Marine, and then afterward in a variety of jobs, from baking (he appeared on the Food Network’s “Cupcake Wars”) to construction.
And it made him feel disconnected. “I started to build a shell around myself,” he says. “Friends had fallen by the wayside for me, and it has been lonely for me.”
Now established in Tremont — “This is the first place where I’ve been in a long time that I feel like it’s home,” he says — Bartell started Dudes of Cleveland, a group that has regular meetups throughout the area with the goal of bringing men together to forge authentic friendships.
“I started it for a selfish reason but also because I thought I can’t be the only one who feels this way,” he says.
He’s not. The pandemic was an isolating event for a lot of people, but it’s also laid bare the pronounced increase in loneliness for men in particular.
“It becomes a bigger conversation because loneliness can lead to depression,” says Beena Persaud, a psychologist with the Cleveland Clinic. “Eighty percent of suicides are by men. That’s very concerning.”
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A 2024 survey by the Chamber of Commerce called Cleveland the fifth loneliest city in America and second loneliest city for men, as judged by housing data of people living alone. And a 2021 survey on friendship revealed that social circles have shrunk in general, but 15% of men — and more than a quarter of men under the age of 30 — say they have no close friends at all. “A lot of it comes from how society talks about masculinity,” Persaud says. “Men are supposed to be stoic and strong. You’re not supposed to talk about these things, and if you do, it’s a sign of weakness.”
It’s not just a question of mental health either. Persaud says that friendships can actually keep your blood pressure lower, reduce the risk of heart problems and even keep Alzheimer’s at bay.
Persaud says men and women bond differently. It’s easier for women to connect emotionally, but men need activities to bond. Bartell found that was his own experience, so he tries to plan events that might center around activities, like a recent gathering at Hi & Dry in Tremont for duckpin bowling.
Dudes of Cleveland’s first meeting was in October, and it appears to be working. “Guys have already told me this is exactly what they needed,” he says.
“And the guys I meet help me,” he adds. “I’m in a better mood. I’m smiling more.”
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