Fake emergency texts and escapes through bathroom windows may be fodder for the best post-date disaster stories, but there are simpler ways to gracefully ditch
a bad date. Life coach
Ellen Hartson offers tips on how to handle romances that are dead on arrival.
Deliver a state-of-the-date speech
There’s nothing disrespectful or unkind about saying, “I don’t think this is a good match.” “It’s best not to make up excuses and lies,” Hartson advises. “Be honest, be direct and don’t be unkind.”
Set a deadline, then run out the clock
Rather than a vague, “I need to be going soon,” set an endpoint. Otherwise the person is likely going to keep talking. “As soon as possible, be direct: ‘I have to leave in two minutes,’ ” says Hartson. “As long as you’ve been clear with your signals, then it’s really OK to get up in two minutes.”
Wish them the best in the future — with someone else
If it just wasn’t a match, but the person was nice, it’s OK to say it. “I’m sure you found some redeeming quality, so it’s also nice to reflect back that redeeming quality,” says Hartson. “Tell them, ‘I’m sure with your positive outlook on life, you’ll have no problem finding a good match.’ ”
Make it a learning opportunity
“If you’re just not attracted to this person or they’re really boring, my philosophy is make the best of it and show up as your best self,” says Hartson. Use it as practice.”Work on your own skills of talking and listening.”
