As Nickie Antonio joins Jean Kosmac on the deck overlooking the backyard of their two-story Lakewood home, she is absolutely overjoyed. Occasionally, Nickie's hands wander from her glass of water to hold Jean's arm. The Ohio state legislator can hardly keep her eyes off Jean, who sits stoically with her hands clasped in front of her. On her left hand, she's wearing Nickie's high school class ring where her engagement ring should be.
"I love Jean's mind," says Nickie, laughing as she leans into her partner. "We can dissect something until the end of time, and we often do. It's part of the way I engage with the world."
The two met at a West Side rec center more than 20 years ago when Nickie started a children's play group to meet other moms. While they were both married to other people, the two bonded over politics and feminism, and even joined the Greater Cleveland chapter of the National Organization for Women.
"As I was becoming more politically engaged, my husband at the time was becoming more conservative and we sort of parted ways, separated and eventually divorced," says Nickie, who moved to Lakewood with her daughter almost 25 years ago.
Not long after, Jean and her husband split as well. As the bond between the women strengthened, they realized they loved each other. "It really helped being your friend for all those years," says Jean, as she turns to look at Nickie, "because I really knew you."
When Nickie and Jean moved into their house on Lakewood's Belle Avenue, the couple were determined to raise their children as progressive, positive-thinking adults. At dinner, the family talked about social change and current events. Jean coached the girls' soccer team and picked up the players in a van decorated with liberal-minded political stickers.
"If I have a faith, it's based on the belief that we have to do something to make this world better," says Jean.
After an amendment to the state constitution made same-sex marriages and civil unions unconstitutional in 2004, Jean worked diligently as Nickie's treasurer and volunteer in her run for Lakewood City Council and again for state representative in 2010. Now she's a staff accountant for Emerald Development and Economic Network, a nonprofit that provides affordable housing to homeless people.
"I felt having to go to another state [to get married] was classist," says Jean. "Not everybody can afford to do that. I wasn't going to get married until we had it here."
The couple, both 60, plan to wed in October at the West Shore Unitarian Universalist Church in Rocky River with their daughters, Ariel and Stacey, as their best women.
"I'm as excited about this as somebody who's in a new relationship," says Nickie, giggling as she faces Jean. "You're my best friend. I love you."
