Tossing bridal bouquets and frilly garters are a long-gone wedding reception convention. But there are popular ways to break the rules when planning your day — things that might make older generations in the family cringe, or new traditions they’ll secretly appreciate.
Leah Haslage is senior producer at Evergreen Podcasts and hosts the Bridechilla and Weddings Unveiled podcasts. Kim Singerman is in her 20th year running Cleveland-based Noteworthy Events. We asked, “What’s so done?” to discover the traditions couples edit out of their celebrations.
(Courtesy J & N Studios)
You didn’t make the list
No, you don’t have to invite the cousin who eats with his hands and hits on your friends or the great-aunt who wears musky perfume and side-eyes you at every opportunity. Go ahead and trim down that guest list. COVID-19 made microweddings OK.
“Couples are making their weddings more intimate and inviting the people they spend the most time with, as opposed to feeling forced to have a 200-person wedding with parents inviting coworkers and extended family,” Haslage says.
Singerman says she still plans many weddings in the 220-person guest list category and organizes events for beyond 450, but “many people are questioning the need to have hundreds of people at their weddings,” she relates. Intimate gatherings are an acceptable, appealing alternative.
For example, some of Singerman’s clients invite immediate family to an upscale dinner at a favorite, special restaurant and roll out the top-shelf menu with wine pairings and multiple courses.
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A sustainable (affordable) ‘I do’
An engagement ring still symbolizes the union to come, but Haslage says lab-grown diamonds are growing in demand and more affordable, along with buying rings on Etsy or proposing with heirloom rings. “Universally, it’s definitely about cost savings,” she says, though the environmental factor of science or upcycling doesn’t hurt.
(Courtesy J & N Studios)
Skip the party
Let your bestie guests sit back and enjoy the nuptials — without shelling out for all the small things. Avoid all the nail biting vacillating over who makes the bridal party cut. Your future sister-in-law doesn't have to be a mandated maid of honor.
“We used to see lots of large wedding parties with everyone in matching dresses, and over the years, we’re seeing small wedding parties or none at all,” Haslage says. Dresses are color coordinated but range in style. “And we’re really open to a gender swap on both sides,” she notes of a guy in the bride’s party and vice-versa.
Younger couples are more likely to expand the party, Singerman says. “But most want their day to be simplified,” she relates. “They don’t want 12 girls in the room while they’re getting ready with music. It’s more about having a relaxing, calm day that is meaningful and genuine.”
Cut a small cake
Large-scale curated cakes are more editorial and less palatable at modern weddings. Now, couples are choosing a small cake to cut to observe tradition. And they’re stocking dessert tables with hand-helds and bite-sized yummies like cookies and pies.
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“‘We really don’t like cake,’” a couple told Singerman. “So, we did donuts with a huge display and got pictures of them taking bites out of their donuts so they didn’t miss out on that photo op.”
Pick a seat, not a side
Ceremonies are no longer divided — his side, her side. Sit where you want.
But keep seating arrangements and thoughtfully placed name cards in play at the reception unless your theme is: let’s get awkward, here. “It’s a trend, and it should not be a thing,” Haslage says. “Without seating arrangements, there’s lots of confusion.”
So personal
Cookie-cutter days with the quintessential cake topper and a banquet afterparty are pretty much over, Haslage says. “People really want to personalize their weddings and make it as unique and ‘them’ as possible,” she relates.
(Courtesy J & N Studios)
At a recent wedding for a baseball-loving couple, Haslage says servers passed out popcorn and Cracker Jacks at cocktail hour. Singerman orchestrated a wedding at the Cleveland Museum of Art where every detail tied into the venue in a Monet way. Tiny easels posed as name placards on reception tables.
“It’s a trend with the bride and groom really caring about the guest experience and trying to make it personal, so people leave remembering the intentional, personalized elements,” Singerman says.
Read More on Cleveland Weddings: Tips, Tricks and Traditions to Create
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